Editorial 07-06-2003 Triumph of Apartheid.

Final Conflict European News

THE NEW SOUTH AFRICA ...where all are so wonderfully transformed and equal...

some are just more equal than others

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Life in  the New South  Africa, alias   Azania, is really a treat, a wonderful treat, - as long as  you are black. And that's official. You see, if you are black, you are, ipso facto, disadvantaged, dispossessed, badly done by, historically discriminated against, disempowered, and poor. So the glorious ruling Party (and its 'people's court', the so-called Constitutional Court) has decreed that in the wonderful New South Africa you are entitled to be empowered, advantaged, and enriched by all kinds of so-called affirmative actions and expropriation of (white) land,   regardless of merit or historical facts, - if you belong to the pigmentally correct class. Then nothing can go wrong, literally. And if anything bad does happen to you, - why, it's simple. Just blame it on apartheid! It always works. And you can shout  "kill the Boer, kill the farmer" as much as you like, and nothing will happen to you as long as your name is Peter Mokaba and you are a prominent member of the ruling ANC/Communist cabal. And even if somebody lifts up an eyebrow at the obvious link between your hate-speech and the killings of thousands of defenceless whites, - why, back to rule 1 : blame it on apartheid.  If, on the other hand, you are one of the over hundred women  raped in the wonderfully transformed New South Africa every day, or perhaps one of the about sixty daily murder victims, surely you must realise it is not the fault of the black killers or rapists, oh no!, - it is all the fault of good old bad apartheid, such a convenient stand to hang any kind of hat on!   Equally so, if you are mugged, highjacked, or robbed, -  surely it must be because you did not show enough appreciation for the priviledge of living in the wonderful democracy of Azania. And you have not done enough yet for the glorious Azanian transformation process, you horrible white reactionary, you, and there is the perfectly understandable need for some rather faster and more drastic transformation. Like from rich to poor, or from fit to cripple, or from alive to dead.  In Azania-speak we call this the privatised, fast-track kind of transformation.

On the other hand, if you are pigmentally correct   and just a normal kind of guy, without politicaL connections, then you might have some problems, too. In fact, the longer these illustrious Great Leaders of yours are lording it over you,  the more it becomes evident that you are actually worse off now than ever before in the 'bad old apartheid days'.  Maybe you are one of the more than 500 000 people who lost their jobs over the last 5 years since the ANC-Communist alliance was given free reign? Or maybe you were naive enough to believe all the propaganda about houses for all, land for free, and a buckshee  Mercedes in your backyard, - all without working for it.  Well, old chap, it can be done, - but only if your name is Yengeni, or Mbeki,or some other Xhosa-sounding surname. If not, you'd better realise the Dark Age of Black Africa has descended on this beautiful land of ours...

Image showing 'Holy Nelson' Mandela, shortly after being elected as the first   Azanian [New South African] President toy-toying with his fellow Comrades. The picture has not been altered and was displayed in the Flying Springbok, official magazine of the SAA. [New South African Airways.] There was much speculation as to why a so-called President would wear a sock  with a big toe sticking out. Some say it was a publicity stunt to evoke sympathy and to cover up the fact that he receives  an annual income of nearly a million Rand, and that his wife Winnie wanted 20 million as half the spoils allegedly accumulated by him. Others say he must be blind, or ignorant of the fact that socks do need darning every now and again. Still others say that with the current value of the rand he probably can't afford a new pair of socks.  And some wit thought he might have been so much under the impression of his new sanctified status, that he made sure his socks are 'holey', too.  Whatever the truth, Nelson Mandela is probably the best ventilated African president who ever lived in modern Africa.
South African saying: "Nelson is not a Seagull, he's a jailbird."

Winnie Mandela, so-called "Mother of the Nation".Cartoon from 'Rapport' depicting her at Heathrow airport. Although being fired as deputy Minister more than a year ago, she was travelling  with a "diplomatic" passport, - a favourite with black African 'emperors', dictators and life-long fathers and mothers of nations.  She is on record as saying: "With our matches and tyres we'll liberate this  country". The method used by her and her so-called "soccer club" to convince people to go along with her and the ANC/Communist cause was to tie people up, force them to drink petrol, putting a tyre around their necks [photo image],  soaking them in petrol and then set them alight. Filmed by pro-ANC overseas film crews, the barbaric killers would then dance around the screaming, wriggling human torch and shout and kick and spit on it until death mercifully ended his/her life. More than 400 known cases of this crime were reported. Mandela  herself was accused of at least 13 child murders. The book Katiza's Journey,   about a young Zulu's traumatic life as a member of her notorious 'soccer club", written by Fred Bridgland with a foreword by British MP Emma Nicholson, gives one a glimpse into the soul of this so-called "liberator". Apart from a half-hearted, failed attempt to convict her of the murder of young Stompie Sepei,  Mandela was never arrested, charged or prosecuted for her atrocities in spite of overwhelming evidence against her. Allegations have since come to light that she uses cheques of the Mandela Childrens Fund to wine and dine her friends on the Cape Waterfront as well as in the Kruger National Park. She was eventually charged with defrauding cheques of the ANC Womans League in 2001 involving about a million rand. And still she is a 'revered' political figure surrounded by scores of black and white flunkeys...

During the Rhodesian bush war against the Communist-backed Zanu PF, an incident happened vaguely like this "...An enemy-base was attacked. The well-trained Rhodesian attack force soon took control.  While searching the terrain, a soldier got on the radio: "Sergeant, this once's got a wooden leg!"

Came the answer;    "Do a 360 and look for the parrot..."

Overheard in a "New" South African Shebeen: "Did you hear Holy Nelson and Graca Machel s' wedding plans were postponed for at least a week?
"No, - why?"
"Yebo, apparently somebody broke into his car and stole the plans...."

When asked about his well-being in prison, a Boer political prisoner 'humbly' replied with this sketch :

;

Overheard on the border as part of the lecture to prepare some brave troopies for the coming battle :      "If you can see the white of the enemies' eyes, you know you're running the wrong way..."

The late Samora Machel, former Communist leader of Mozambique, who effectively 'transformed" the once prosperous tourist and agricultural haven into the poorest of all countries in the world, apparently threatened to invade South Africa "forcefully".  Given the nature of his untimely death, it can be said that he managed to fulfil this threat of his only seconds before his death...  (Machel's plane strayed across the border and crashed onto South African soil in the eighties). Contrary to the available evidence on the ground, the ANC/Communist witch-hunters persist in trying to find reasons to re-open the investigation.

Scientists are reported to be considering using politicians for research, rather than rats. The reason being that they get too attached to the rats, because they are more loveable. Politicians also breed faster than rats and there are some things that rats will not do!

[The following true incident might offend some readers. It has to be judged in context though - soldiers living on the edge of death, with a big enemy force approaching  and adrenaline pumping after a heavy contact:]

During an ambush of a road deep inside Mozambique by a small Rhodesian force, two even smaller early warning groups were placed on both sides to warn of the expected enemy reaction force.  Eventually, after over 20 'kills' of armed terrorists running into the ambush, this reaction force arrived and made contact with Billy's eraly warning group in the east.  Billy was only supposed to hold them off to give the main ambush group the time to pack up and leave. Soon the enemy began throwing mortar bombs, - unfortunately, for them, slightly off target and onto the heads of their own men.  Came the exultant praise over the radio from the early warning group   "Well done,  Willem, well done! Keep it up, keep it up!"  The rather surprised mortarman Willem Butler, who had not fired a single shot yet,  looked at the commander, the commander looked at him, and they both giggled and enjoyed the welcome, but somewhat undeserved praise. 

   Meanwhile, the disgusted enemy point platoon had obviously sent through corrections, and their mortars began adjusting their line of fire, - rather too close for comfort to dear Billy, who until then had been happily contemplating the excellence of his own mortar support.  Next came his outraged shout over the radio :  " Stop firing, Butler you c... ! Stop!"

Except for a few finer nuances, friend and foe respond almost exactly the same when looking down the barrel of a gun from the wrong side...

Deep in thought, a man sits sipping his drink at a bar counter. "What's the problem, old chap?" someone asks. "You know,"   says the deep-thinking man. "I'm worried. In nature, everything  balances out, - if you have a strong point somewhere, you have a weak point somewhere else. For example, if someone is strong, he's normally not so bright;  if someone is handsome, he is often weak;  if someone is brave, he is  slow;  if someone is fast, he is sometimes ugly;  if someone is good, he is normally poor;  if someone is rich, he is bald and fat..."   "So what's the problem, old fruit?"   "Well, the problem is, that I'm now nearly fifty years old, -  and I STILL haven't been able to find my weak points..."

When former South African "old South Africa" President P.W. Botha was forced to resign as Pesident by conniving Pik Botha and F.W.de Klerk he refused to vote in a following election that signed South Africa over to the ANC/Communist regime. A cartoonist captured the moment of his refusal.

WELCOME TO UTOPIA!

To all tourists.  Welcome to the House of El Thabone. And enjoy you stay in the wonderful

democratic new South Africa. And have a nice day spending our ailing curency.

.    Please, support our African Renaissance  program by  donating some of your wealth to our employment buro, just look out for taxis and car thieves!

Subject:        THE NEW TAXI REPORT - South Africa -

Inevitably, the National Taxi drivers' organisation has asked my friend Togetherness Tshabalala, the demon taxi driver of Diepsloot, to road-test these new, safer, 18 seater and 35 seater maxi-taxis.  The transport Minister wants these vehicles to replace the notoriously dangerous minibus ftaxis.

Togetherness's report has caused a stir among the manufacturers. Maxi taxi road test by Togetherness Tshabalala: My test shows that the 35-seater holds 157 passengers, at a squeeze so to speak. The roof managed to support a good three tons of luggage, chickens and building material. This is a big advantage over the minbuses.

Despite a cargo of this magnitude, during my test run to Pietersburg, the vehicle handled well and experienced very few serious accidents. At one time the back assembly became incandescent because the handbrake had been left on. This ignited the petrol tank but most of the passengers managed to
alight.

(Alert readers will spot Togetherness's little pun.) We managed to repair the bus at the roadside with pieces of corrugated iron and a hammer and resumed our journey. The bus, now reduced to a 26 seater,
was in fact now much easier to handle, cornering at speed.  I liked the 18-seater. It can accomodate 77 passengers - nine under the seats and onein the spacious engine compartment (at reduced fare).  It put up animpressive performance on the Soweto route but only after the electronic speed governor had been neutralised by striking it with a pipe wrench. This speed control device will not be well accepted.  Crawling down the Soweto Highway at a governed 60km/h would certainly be inviting parking tickets as
well as hubcap thieves.

Talking of which ,the wheels in both versions does not take BMW hubcaps,drivers are not going to like this. The automatic hydraulic door is a big advantage over the minbus's sliding door. If the passengers' appendages are left sticking out, the sliding doors tend to guillotine them off, causing much smarting of the eyes. I was pleased to note that the maxi-taxi's automatic doors, as they swing shut,tend to relatively /painlessly compress the passanger-load as opposed totrimming its edges. Passengers are going to welcome this.

Seat belts on all seats - this cuts by one third the number of passengers who are propelled to the front of the vehicle every time the brakes areapplied.

A warning: these busses may be safer than combi taxis but, when one is forced to take to the pavements in rush hour, they are decidedly less safe and badly frighten the pedestrians. However, the power steering does allow one to jink among the traffic lanes without rolling the vehicle, which is a
big time saver.

It was, I must say, rather nice driving a bus with sturdy side-panels which do not flex like lungs when one plays music and neither do the windows pop out, even when I play my Nine Inch Nails' CD.

A Genie in Africa.

A dark-complexioned man finds a dusty old bottle in Soweto. He dusts it off and a genie appears, offering him three wishes.

"E wannade Maciedies" - Poof a big, black Mercedes appears. "E wanna de beeg hows!" - Poof a mansion appears. wanna be white likka de baas!" - Poof he becomes white. And Poof!  the car and the house vanish. "How Wa!!!   Wezma cah en hows?"
To which the genie replies :  "Hijacked, you white sucker.

If you want another Benz and house, go work for it!"