"MEAT PIES"
WE CAN LAUGH AT OURSELVES

For the record the SACMP are known in the SANDF as "Meat Pies"
or "Moeras Padda's (Afrikaans - "Swamp Frogs")




WHAT COPS SAY AND WHAT THEY MEAN



MURPHY's LAWS FOR INFANTRY


MURPHY'S LAWS FOR MILITARY POLICE


"MP's IN A FOX-HOLE"

Cartoon Copyright - Sgt Bill MaudlinA story is told of two South African military policeman from 6 SA Division Provost Company who were placed at a road junction in Italy which was notorious for the amount of enemy shelling that it attracted. They had dug themselves a slit trench by the side of the road and carried out their traffic control from this trench. Every time a vehicle approached the junction a sign was pushed up indicating to the vehicle where it was supposed to go. The MP's weren't going to take any unnecessary chances.


"MP's AND POW's"

In addition the South African Military Police were often dumped with POW's and rather than transport them back to the rear lines themselves they in turn handed them over to despatch riders. One particular "Ted" (an Italian)was handed over to despatch riders from the Umvoti Mounted Rifles for transport to the rear. These despatch riders were not too pleased about this and left him unattended in the back of their Jeep. A Military Policeman happened to come along and found him looking rather dejected. The MP blurted out "My donder, Ted, wat maak jy hierso? (Afrikaans - My hell, Ted, what you doing here?) He then saw that the despatch drivers had left all their weapons in the back as well.


"MILITARY POLICE OR TRAFFIC POLICE?"

A Military Policeman was involved with the regulation of troops of troops and traffic at an inauguration parade in Potchefstroom. Whilst he was busy a bearded old gentlemen approached him cautiously and said, "I like this new uniform that you traffic police have received. The red cap is certainly clearly visible. The only thing I don't like is that armband. It's a bit unnecessary don't you think?" When the surprised Military Policeman enquired why his duty armband was unnecessary the old man replied, "Of course it's unnecessary. We all know that you work for the Municipality of Potchefstroom!" (Potchefstroom is a town in South Africa)


"MILITARY POLICE & AWOLLER's"

During the 80's, a well-known South African and world-ranked tennis player returned to the republic for a match. Imagine his dismay when military police arrived during the match to take him into custody for draft-dodging. Dewar's whisky later made use of this in an advertising campaign - "Are you a talker or a DEWAR?".



Do you know who it was??


"PAPA BRITS"

One day Lt col "Papa" Brits, Officer Commanding Special Service Brigade (SSB) - an armour unit, had to attend a meeting with Sir Pierre van Rhyneveldt. The meeting was urgent and Papa's driver had to drive pretty fast. As the base was left, an MP named "Pine" Pienaar appeared on his Harley-Davidson, and indicated to the driver that he must pull over. "Pine" was known as the "Terror of Pretoria" and displayed no mercy for anyone contravening regulations and rules.

"Pine" was however a previous member of the SSB and was wary of "Papa" Brits. Blissfully unaware that "Papa" was seated in the rear of the vehicle, he put his head into the car and began to read extracts from the road traffic ordinance.
"Papa" let rip in his usual style, "Pine, what do you want hey?, get lost!". After a terrified "Oh god, Papa", "Pine" hurriedly retreated and "Papa" commented "Pine is still afraid of Papa".

Story related by Mr Johan Strohfeldt
Published in the SA Armoured Corps 50th Birthday Commemorative Publication


"TANK, WEDDING, FOR THE USE OF ...."

When the Armour Wing of the School of Artillery and Armour was still in Potchefstroom, it believed that a Stuart tank was borrowed by some cash-strapped instructors to attend a wedding in Cologny some 60 miles away. Since the SA Army had to work Saturday mornings in those days it was easy to get out of the base on a "maintenance run" and the trip to Coligny was without event. The bride and groom were treated to a one gun ("thunderflash" or "blank") salute and the crew proceeded to return to Potchefstroom. The local SA Police sergeant in Coligny, after some ploughing of the Mayor's flowerbeds, has a problem. Unable to catch the Stuart on his single speed Rudge motorcycle he turned to the Military Police in Potchefstroom.

"Murphy's Law" then struck when the Stuart ran out of fuel about 15 miles short of the base. The MP's turned up and the crew placed in close arrest.

Published in the SA Armoured Corps 50th Birthday Commemorative Publication




Calling all SA "Meat Pies", "Moeras Padda's" or whatever.

If you have any humourous stories about the SA Corps of Military Police please contact me by e-mail so that your story can be recorded for posterity.
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